Alone Again
by booknerdhere
Summary: Sirius begged for Harry and went after Peter. Peter retaliated and turned into a rat... But how did Remus react to his best friend's death?


**This is something I wrote awhile ago. It is a one-shot, though a very long one. I was inspired to write about Remus' reaction to James' death. We hear about the reactions of Sirius and Peter… but whatever happened to Remus?**

**DISCLAIMER- I do not own any of J.K. Rowlings works.**

Remus Lupin awoke to the rude sound of someone banging on his front door. He huffed and opened one eye to check the clock which sat on his bedside table. Five twenty-two. Of course. Maybe if he just laid there the disruptive noise would go aw- _knock, knock, knock_. With a sorrowful sigh, Remus kicked off the blankets and swung himself out of bed. He shivered slightly as he mosied over to his closet and grabbed his soft, worn, navy blue robe.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Remus John Lupin, if you do not open this door at once, I shall have to blow it down!" Called the voice of a very annoyed Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. _Why would Dumbledore be knocking at this hour of the morning? _Thought Remus. _That can't be a good thing._

"Coming, coming!" He threw on his robe over his pajamas and walked quickly to the door of his tiny house. He turned the knob to find Dumbledore, quite red in the face and extremely irritated. "Sorry Professor, I wasn't expecting you. Please come in." Even now, over four years after graduation, Remus was still accustomed to calling the old wizard 'Professor' or 'Headmaster'.

The Professor, saying nothing, took a long stride through the doorway, quickly glancing around the old, rather shabby building. Being a werewolf, Remus found it particularly difficult to find a job. Whenever he did find one, he was quickly fired when his employer found out about his… furry little problem. Therefore, he couldn't afford much better than this. _Hey, at least it has a roof… even if it does leak._

"Would you like a seat, sir?" He asked, gesturing to one of the poorly upholstered chairs which sat in his living room. Dumbledore shook his head, suddenly looking quite grim.

"No thank you my boy, but you may want to take one yourself soon enough."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Remus…" The Headmaster faltered for a moment as if not quite sure what to say.

"Go on, Professor, spit it out. I've heard so much bad news the past couple of years, I don't think anything could surprise me now."

Dumbledore felt a pang of pity arise in his heart. The young man before him was so innocent, and already so troubled, that he hated to tell the truth. "Mr Lupin… I am sorry to say that James and Lily Potter are dead."

For a moment, Remus though he'd misheard. "E-Excuse me?"

"Remus, don't make me say it again. You heard me correctly."

The world around his seemed to slow to a stop. All Remus could hear was his heart pounding in his ears as it became harder and harder to breathe. It had to be a lie. Dumbledore _had _to be lying! "Wh-What do you mean, they're dead!?" He exclaimed, "They can't be! Voldemort couldn't have found them b-because they… they had a Secret Keeper!"

Dumbledore's expression did not change. He simply stood there with his usual stoic demeanor and said, "Please my boy, do not make this harder on yourself. I understand that it is a terrible thing, but you mustn't deny that it has happened, because it has."

No matter how much Remus wanted to take his anger out of the Professor, to call him a dirty, rotten liar, he couldn't. Deep down, he knew that Dumbledore was serious. He would never joke about something like death. It wasn't in his nature.

Remus let out a pent up breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He was so shocked, as if someone had punched him in the gut. Not James. Not his dearest friend. Not the man who stayed by his side through thick and thin, who didn't desert him even though he was a werewolf. Even though Remus could have very well murdered him in his sleep without even realizing it. How could James Potter, and not to mention his lovely, caring wife, be dead?

Remus felt tears come to his eyes. This news was something he didn't know if he could deal with, didn't know if he could accept. After a moment, though, Remus remembered that Dumbledore was there. He couldn't cry, not in front of his old Headmaster.

"How is this possible?" He asked, a hollow tone in his voice. "How did Vol - I mean You Know Who - find James and Lily? They had a Secret K- Oh."

The Secret Keeper. Sirius Black.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore spoke up, confirming the thought. "Sirius Black gave away the location of James and Lily Potter… and it is my duty to inform you that he also disposed of a certain Peter Pettigrew."

"No." That was it, that was the final blow. Remus' knees gave out and hit the hardwood floor with a painful jolt; painful, just like everything else at that moment. "_No!_" The scream was ripped from his threat, hoarse and full of despair. The world had always been cruel to Remus Lupin. It had scored and humiliated him; mocked and taunted him; even turned him into a bloodthirsty monster, a nightmare. At Hogwarts, he'd finally found friends. James, Sirius, Peter and he had been inseperable, a team like no other. They'd pulled off impossible pranks, awing the students and angering the staff.

Now the world, that same world that had turned him into a werewolf, laughed in his face, taken his mother and then finally convinced him that everything would be alright - had killed two of his best friends and made the other one a murderer. The world had taken everything from Remus Lupin. It had gone too far, leaving him with nothing to lose.

A sob escaped Remus' lips as salty tears began to fall. Once they began, there was no holding back. The sight of the disheveled, sobbing you man broke Dumbledore's heart.

The boy was merely twenty one; he didn't deserve such a terrible turn of events.

"I- I have to see him," Remus dazedly muttered between sobs. Before Dumbledore could move or even reply, the mourning man Apparated before his eyes.

* * *

><p>Remus' feet hit the cold, solid ground of Godric's Hollow. The sun was just starting to rise over the trees, the frost causing the grass to sparkle. If it had been any other day, Remus would have appreciated the rather breathtaking sight… but not today.<p>

Blinded by tears, he stumbled down the silent street until he reached the house he'd been searching for. The word POTTER was neatly printed on the mailbox. The dainty little house was surrounded by a freshly painted white fence. If it had been spring or summer, the garden would be blooming in all sorts of colours. On this November morning though, there was a chilled air of solemnity about the house, as if joy no longer existed.

Remus opened the gate, shuffling stiffly down the stone walkway and through the wide open doorway. The sight was not a pleasant one. Picture frames were shattered on the floor in the hall, and when he made his way into the living room Remus saw that chairs had been kicked over and the coffee table split clean in two. These things were noticed only briefly by the werewolf, for something else - something far more disturbing - quickly caught his eye.

James.

Remus scrambled forward, falling down beside his friend. James appeared to be unharmed except for a small cut on his cheek. His hazel eyes were opened in an eternal gaze, his square glasses slightly askew and his dark hair tousled as always… It seemed that any second James would jump to his feet, laugh that happy, infectious lap, and punch Remus lightly in the shoulder, going on about how he'd fooled him yet again.

For a moment, Remus waited expectantly, believing that this might actually occur, even the the logical part of his brain screamed _FOOLISH _in his ears. Reality soon returned, though, and another sob escaped his lips. He gently lifted the dead man's head into his lap before bowing his own heard over the stone cold body. The tears slid down his nose, dripping onto the pale face below. Why James? Why couldn't it have been Remus himself? At least he'd be saved from this misery, from the knowledge that he was alone once more. _And if James were alive, Harry would still have a Father…Oh my. Harry. _

Was he still alive? _No., that's impossible. _No one, not even the most powerful wizard, could survive the killing curse, let alone a baby. _He was no more than a year old… _

Dumbledore stood in the hallway, not wanting to intrude on his former student. He certainly wasn't going to tell him to stop, even if the sobs were heart-rending. Remus had a right to grieve, and Dumbledore would never deprive him of that right. He'd lost his own handful of friends to this war; he understood what the boy was suffering. So he waited there in the hall, until Remus' tears became sluggish.

"May I close his eyes?" He questioned in a soft voice, emerging from the shadows.

Remus was so stricken, he did not jump. He looked down into his friends hazel eyes, imagining them how they used to be.: bright, merry, and never lacking that mischievous glint. Now they were cold and dull. Unable to bear the sight any longer (it just seemed so _wrong_), Remus nodded.

Dumbledore bent down and, reaching out an old, wrinkled, long-fingered hand, gently closed the dead man's eyes. "There. Now he could be sleeping."

Remus said nothing. He simply stared down at James with a blank expression. ANyone who looked into his eyes right then would have understood what complete and utter despair was. In one night, he had lost everything that mattered.

Dumbledore placed a gentle hand of Remus' shoulder. Remus clung to his friend's hand, not wanting to let go… but he eventually gave in and allowed the Professor to guide him to his feet. What was the use in wishing something could change when it couldn't?

"My dear boy," the elderly, silver-beaded Headmaster said, "Although I am sure nothing could truly heal your aching heart quite yet… I do have some uplifting news."

"And what might that be?" Remus managed to spit out, his voice sounding hollow and broken even to himself.

"The boy, Harry Potter… he lives."

At this Remus' head jerked up from the floor "_What!? How!?" _A new light arose in his eyes.

"Love." replied Dumbledore in a crisp, matter-of-fact tone. "James and Lily Potter's love protected their son from the Dark Lord. They found his only weakness without meaning too. And not only did their love save Harry… It allowed the baby to defeat Voldemort, with nothing to show for the battle but a single scar." Dumbledore took Remus' hands and squeezed, trying to encourage his former student. "The Dark Lord is no more."

Countless thoughts swirled in Remus' head; an infinity of emotions settled in his heart and stomach. His braid worked to digest this information. In the midst of the darkness he had hope. Harry was alive, and Voldemort dead.

"Where is he, Headmaster? Where is Harry?" He inquired, just a bit frantic. "I must see him. I'm all he has left… He's all _I _have left! Let me take care of him, sir, please!"

"Remus-"

"You _must_ have the authority to authorize this decision. Don't you? James and Lily taught me how to take of of him sir! I can feed him and wash him and change his diapers-"

"Remus."

"-and my father could help me sir, if I had a hard time, and Harry could stay with him during the full moon and I'd take care of him, sir, and teach him spells how to ride a broomstick, and tell him all about his parents and send him to Hogwarts when he's older and he'd be sade and I'd te-"

"_REMUS!" _Dumbledore bellowed, his face stern. "Enough of this. You've raised your hoped too far. Harry has been sent to live with his Aunt and Uncle and their son. He's been sent to live with Lily's family."

"Wh-What!?"

"You cannot have him, or even see him Mr. Lupin. Death Eaters still roam, and we have no proof that the Dark Lord's existence has been _completely _obliterated. Harry will be safe where he is, with the muggles. I _am _sorry Mr. Lupin.

Remus' already skinny form seemed to deflate, all light gone from his eyes. Harry, his last, final hope, was gone. He truly had nothing. Without a word he turned, walked down the hall, and emerged into the brisk air. The sun had risen over Godric's Hollow, but Remus glared at the light which now seemed garish. How could the world go on without James and Lily Potter? It seemed impossible, it seemed _wrong._

Remus wandered out of the remote town, having no clue where he was going. Everything had been taken from him. For the first time in ten years, he had no one to go to. Once more, Remus Lupin was..

Alone.


End file.
